By Juli Slattery

 Part of Developing a Healthy Sexual Relationship Series: 


1- Developing a Healthy Sexual Relationship 


2- Intimacy and Sex: How Men and Women are Different — and Why

3- Great Sex Doesn't Just Happen

4- Intimacy Requires Vulnerability

5- Intimacy Requires Effort – and Creativity


Like most newlyweds, Josh and Lauren had anticipated the unity and ecstasy of married sexuality. Even though their honeymoon wasn't perfect, they still hoped that they would "click" and discover the ultimate beauty of sexual oneness. After two years of frustration, their optimism began to wane.

Sexual issues topped the list of their arguments. He complained that she was never interested. She responded by pointing out his obvious lack of romantic overtures. How could something designed to create unity have become so divisive in their young marriage?


Marital intimacy is fraught with hindrances such as poor communication, unmet expectations and resentment, primarily stemming from the vast differences between male and female sexuality. Perhaps you and your spouse have found yourselves frustrated in the bedroom, in which case it's probably time for some continuing education.


Become a student of your spouse. It took me 10 years of school to become a psychologist. Throughout that time, I was exposed to a fair amount of information on human sexuality. Needless to say, I felt more equipped than the average wife to understand a husband's needs. Boy, did I overestimate my sex education!


Regardless of your background, you have a lot to learn about your spouse's sexuality. In fact, much of what you assume may actually be wrong. If you want a deeply satisfying sex life, you must go back to being a student. In the following series, we'll look at how God made men and women different sexually, and how creating genuine intimacy requires vulnerability, effort and creativity.

From the Focus on the Family website at  © 2007 Juli Slattery.  Used by permission.

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